Hello Friends,
It's Wednesday, I am on time-ish and It's National Best Friend’s Day.
As if I do not already overshare photos of my favorite friend all the time, here's an additional photo for funsies.
Recently, i've been going through my memento boxes. I store tons of little keepsakes and photos from over the years in these boxes, they're almost like time capsules. They're buried in my closet so I never see them until it's spring cleaning and I'm going through my closet to donate stuff to the Good Will. Every time i go through all these boxes, i remember how time flies and how fast things can change within even a few months. I rummage through my high school stuff (it's been about 14 years since i've graduated), college stuff, and even stuff from last year. I can't help to think like "Who is this bitch?" at ever photo i've seen. I mean LOOK?!?!
Time has played its course in the most subtle way but for some reason it also feels so abrupt. The best friends I've had in high school, lingered to my college years, and have now been become just acquaintances. I used to think it was super important to consistently keep up with all my friends, but over the years, it just became more difficult. Everyone's schedule is different, everyone's priorities are different, everyone has their own journey. Regardless, irregardless, the love is still there. No hard feelings.
It's okay to move on friendships that feel expired. It's okay to not have the same best friend from childhood. It's okay that the friendship circle changes from time to time. Sometimes the change is necessary, even if we feel like it's breaking our heart at the time. For a long time, I've held onto friendships that no longer served me and I'd end up just crying for months for no reason. I guess because change is hard. Sometimes I spent so much time holding things together, enabling friendships only because i thought 15 years of friendship meant more to me than how they treated me. Granted, i'm sometimes the one with a toxic attitude so it's a two way street.
I've always felt at home with people who I can fully be myself. Like my 100% annoying full throttle self, with all my caveats and baggage. I am terrible at vulnerability. It takes such a long time for me to feel seen, but i have been so lucky to be blessed to have friends who have been patient enough with me to withstand my hysteria lol
Jordan Peterson says that the value of great friendship is that you can tell them bad news and good news. It’s the person you first go to after you finally go to dinner with the guy you’ve been crushing on for months now. You go into a very detailed breakdown of the dinner and cry after realizing it’s the first time ever that any guy has taken you out to dinner like that. Dinner to a very fancy restaurant just because you’ve never been there before. It’s the friendship where you can cry so much that you end up crying together because they get that after all these polished turds you went out with, someone finally does something as sweet like that for you. They are your person, like the Christina Yang to your Meredith Grey. The Riley to your Jonesy. The Seth Rogan to your James Franco.
I could not be more grateful for all the friends that have walked in and out of my little life, and even more grateful to the ones who've stayed despite me not reaching out as much these days. Nonetheless, happy best bud's day to you and your other half/halves. There's no greater feeling than knowing someone would go to the wall for you, just as you'd know you'd go to the wall for them. Especially if you can call each other pheasants on the way there, Ferda. (love you, Bea!)
p.s. Watch Shoresy on Hulu, you will not regret it.
<3