01 - Siri, define "mabuhay".

So, here we are. We're about to enter the final quarter of 2021 and i've decided to start a blog/newsletter. What now?

Well let me explain myself in the longest way I can. For a very long time, I have struggled with diverting my attention away from social media since some days I just don't have the best relationship with it. I tend to waste so much time mindless scrolling for hours on end. I hate seeing my screen time go over an hour some days but some days it's just fun, I ignore my limit notification and end up spending the next 3 hours learning about Game Theory instead of working on that project i've been keeping on the back burner for months now. Wow, that sounds terrible said aloud lol So perhaps, i'm easily distracted. But anywhos, starting this gave me something to focus on instead of thinking I'm bored all the time.

If you've known me for a while now, you know I just like to do shit. I love making crafts, journaling, scrapbooking, taking photos, making silly videos, just.. anything that allows me to capture ideas that flow in this big forehead brain the way I envision it. I've just always been that way. In middle school, i made zines of poems and drawings that only a few people can attest to because I never really like had the guts to share them and be like.. LOOK WHAT I DID.

I just had fun making them and sharing them with like one other person, if not two. (perhaps, i'm still that wayp) In high school, my myspace layout was changing every weekend, the more I learned how to code. That's when i first got my hands on a limewire copy of photoshop and it's history from there. I still have files of all the myspace div layouts, gifs and collages I made back in those George Washington years, all thanks to photobucket (before dearpaulajean, there was …Paula Jean, Where Are Your Manners?) lol In college, I did a lot of art for my sorority. Granted, I definitely put more work into rush posters than I needed to, but I didn't care lol DG gave me the opportunity to expand more of my creativity in flyers, making signs, taking photos and it opened so many other doors. I even got the chance to do backstage reporting with EIY at Warped Tour once upon a time. In hindsight, it was so fun while it lasted.

If you haven't known me for a while but have been gracious enough to subscribe to this "blog", the TLDR is I’m weird and have decided to rediscover and hone my creativity. It's one of the most fulfilling and funnest things to do and I've finally decided to really sink into it. Just ..fuck it. So over the course of these newsletters, I intend to share everything I was too nervous or shy to post so maybe a few years from now, I can look back at these archives and hopefully realize some growth. I will reopen all the doors i've closed to open others door in writing, crafting, photography, and even animation (stay tuned for news on that) - while keeping my 9-5 because Kuma hasn't found a job yet and he's spoiled.

But why newsletter, you ask? Instagram is definitely fun but I want to try something different and new to me. I just want to share in a way that doesn't have you mindlessly scrolling past it or having to compete with the algorithm if it decides to dump it on to the back of your stories. So for funsies and from a lot of inspiration from Nathaniel Drew and Jake Frew (some nerd youtubers i adore), I've decided WHY THE FUCK NOT. They call this "intentional documentation" and it'll only take you about 5-10 minutes of your time every other week to read or a minute or two to skim past. Not only does it serve me, it might serve you when an awkward silence arises while we're out for coffee. I'm not the greatest conversationalist - i love to listen. I really enjoy hearing other people's stories, goals, and ideas.. just engaging shit in general. but if I had to tell you all the creative messes i've been brewing in my head, i get SHY. so I probably haven't told you anything unless your name is Mullet.

I don't care if this is too long for your to read, you must suck at reading then. Out here, having to point at each word and sound aloud head ass. Nah, i'm just kidding. I know the average attention span is so paper thin these days. I take it upon myself to challenge the average attention span and create in long form. but hey if you've made it this far, I love you and I just want you to know me through another platform. So here I am, attempting to be NOT shy. Although, most of you know me as not really shy, just kind of - sort of - really awkward. But I am shy about the art that I create, so I'm being vulnerable here. Cut me some slack.

So here's some news- I had been working on a website for months. I bought the domain last year and envisioned different parts of it in my journal month by month until I finally somewhat have it to where I want to be (still under construction), but I think it's ready enough for me to share with you, my close friend.

and why yes, it is : , que epico?

but that's probably how you got here in the first place. You signed up through my website. (saying that made me feel a little silly lol) But if you hadn't looked around, i've put up the two youtube videos I've created, the photographs I've taken and in the future, it'll have the projects i've kept on the back burner or whatever I happen to do next will just pop up on there and you'll be linked in through this newsletter. It's almost like a personal collection to all my creations~

I'm still not 100% how to theme these newsletters, so you can expect to be just as confused as I am in the first few issues. I'll find my footing eventually but here are my three goals.

1. Intentionally document to capture moments, ideas and feelings in creative ways to unshamefully share

2. Develop a habit to create in more concise themes within a given time constraint , which I'm giving myself a two week time span to brain storm, draft, and publish.

3. Find a way to make extra monies/crypto so I can buy a pet rock.

Thank you for letting me share this with you. For taking the time to read while i babble on. I appreciate you. Thank you for taking this journey with me into whatever path I'm trying to forge and getting out of whatever comfort zone I've boxed myself in so that I can level up. This was pretty cathartic. Don't worry, these emails are bi-weekly on Wednesday morning so you'll only have to read my essays once in a while. Sometimes we're just too tired to be bothered. We're all too busy doing our own things, on our own journeys ...getting after it.

Until then, MABUHAY. In Tagalog, Mabuhay is like that one Star Wars guy who says “Live Long & Prosper”. The literal translation is to live. It’s a greeting with a little zest like “Hello MF, live great!!!”. It can also be used like that one phrase at the end of church. When you breathe that sigh of relief knowing that the service is over and the pastor says, “May the Lord be with you” and you hit them back with a “May the force be with you, too”. And yes, i know that Live Long & Prosper is from Star Trek, nerds.

So instead of hiding your self in the shadows, being shy and awkward about your whole ass self.. mabuhay. Emerge and live in your light - Paula Jean says as she “projects” out into the void.

🧡 , PJ